I am a Bhutto & a survivor’

I have only one mother. That’s what I always say and that is also why I have dedicated my book Songs of Blood and Sword to her. Yes Ghinwa is not my biological mother, but she is the only mother I know and certainly the only one I love. I owe whatever I am to her. She has been there for my brother Zulfikar and me, and taught us what it is to be warm and giving. We were born into luxury no doubt, but we’ve also had to live in exile with our father (Mir Murtaza Bhutto).

That the family has been involved with politics and its by-product, violence, has made us see the good and the bad side of things. But never were we raised to hate another human. For the kind of violence we’ve seen; my grandfather was executed, my father was murdered and my aunt assassinated; it wouldn’t have been surprising if our anger had festered. But mom raised us to be compassionate people and to make bonds based on love. She has this tremendous spirit and is a very generous person. She has been a survivor herself what with her Syrian-Lebanese roots. She knew how to deal with the situations around her and most importantly she kept us rooted.

My mother is a very brave and principled woman. Soon after my father was killed in 1996, it would have been an easy option for her to leave the country with us. But she knew by doing that, she would be leaving the battle halfway. She needed to avenge my father’s death, not through violence but by showing the perpetrators that we too are Bhuttos and will not succumb. She knew it would be grave injustice to my father if we walked away. The turmoil leading to his death had in some way prepared her for the aftermath.

We knew my aunt and then Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto had a role (if not for directly) to play in my father’s killing. We had in any case never warmed up to her husband Asif Ali Zardari. My interaction with him was restricted to a cursory “Hi-hello.” With Wadi (short for Wadi Bua or father’s elder sister in Sindhi, in this case referring to Benazir) the transformation was so drastic. She has always been a bit aloof but that didn’t stop her from being warm and affectionate at times. Power and marriage changed her. She became someone totally unrecognisable. No change happens overnight but to witness such a volte-face is unnerving. To me Benazir was two persons: one who was caring and the other who was completely ruthless. I was very young then but was quite mature for my age. I could see what was becoming of her and it was totally unacceptable. Towards the end, my father didn’t quite know what to make of her and since we didn’t trust Zardari, we didn’t know what to expect either.

Even after he died, it wasn’t easy. I’ve studied in the US, lived in the Middle East, and yet I was very clear that I would return to Karachi. Rumi once said, “I move in many directions, but my compass always points towards home.” That, I think, is how I explain why I live in Karachi despite staying and studying in various countries. That is probably the main explanation to the fact that although there has been a threat to our lives, and as Bhuttos that has been a well-documented fact, we will continue to live here. A Bhutto has been killed in every decade since the 70s (grandfather Zulfikar Ali Bhutto was executed in 1979, uncle Shahnawaz Bhutto was murdered in 1985, father Mir Murtaza Bhutto was assassinated in 1996, aunt Benazir Bhutto was assassinated in 2007). Does it scare me that we’re in the new decade? Not really. I don’t look at it as a pattern; it is an unfortunate history we have to live with. History has shown how bloody our (Bhutto family) past has been, but to embrace it as a trend is something I find highly unacceptable, no matter how probable it seems to statisticians or enthusiastic media persons.

I’ve had my fair share of the media, especially the talk about my link-up with Hollywood actor George Clooney. I found it so amusing and frivolous. I mean, here I am sitting in Karachi and writing about politics and corruption, and there is a man who is living in a completely different world with a totally different social circle belonging to a profession so unlike mine. No, I was not dating Clooney. Our realities were so different that the media reports were glaringly farfetched.

The man I would like to settle with must not just be intelligent and passionate about what he does, but must also be committed to a core set of values and connected to his home, no matter where he travels or stays. I would say that given the kind of history I bring along, he should be a rather brave man to be able to deal with it! I’m a survivor, my mom is a survivor and I think only a survivor can survive a Bhutto! My family has always been liberal; as regards considering an Indian partner, I really wish I can comment on it but I’ve seen how much printspace Sania and Shoaib’s wedding has hogged and frankly I don’t want that kind of limelight.

As told to Lakshmi Govindrajan Javeri

Source:

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/supplementary/%E2%80%98i-am-bhutto-survivor%E2%80%99-949